Recent Reads

I’m constantly trying to learn more about myself, better myself (I know…I’m completely alone in this) and often find myself gravitating towards articles and blog posts that fit into one of two categories.

The first category being self helpish types with tips, lists, best practices, challenges, lessons, etc.  Yes that seems like a number of categories I grouped into one, but if any of you follow HuffPost Blog, The Muse, or any of the many sites that dole out seemingly endless advice, you know the type I’m talking about.

The second category is more self-reflective…learning about myself, my generation, our motivations, influences, why we make the decisions we do.

Anyway, I wanted to share a couple articles I’ve read lately that either coincide and support things I’ve already thought, or are helping me improve myself and achieve some goals.

 

My Quest to Banish Multitasking—and What Anyone Can Learn From It

I used to strive to perfect multitasking.  I thought it was one of the most important tools to productivity.  However, my scattered ADD brain (currently undiagnosed, but ugh…) is not organized enough to be very good at this.  I’m pretty sure that upon reading this article I audibly exhaled.  Now, I actively practice finishing one task before moving on to the next.  Sometimes it’s not possible, and today was not the best example of that, but I try.  I’m SO much more efficient in this way.

 

Let’s Play a Minimalism Game Together

As part of my goal to live a more minimalist life, this here is a quick and easy description of a challenging game that I will start on 1/1/15.

 

Rent, Stream, Experience

This article, written by Leslie Bradshaw, really hits home what I’ve observed personally and have been reading elsewhere about the desire for many people of my generation (I’ll call them ‘Millennials’ for the  sake of consistency, as much as I shudder at that term) to own less, to value experiences over possessions, and to redefine what the American Dream is all about. (i.e. I currently have no real goal to own a home, what was once a quintessential part of the American Dream)

A True Minimalist in Action (Spoiler:Not Me)

My old roommate, we’ll call her Lisa, because that was her name, moved out earlier this week. She owned next to nothing, which was great for me when I moved in with half an apartment’s worth of stuff. Her possessions consisted of clothes, a few books, some sparse furniture in her bedroom, a collapsible bike (orange and I want one) and an arts and crafts style rocking chair that she had bought at a thrift store.

I was out of town last weekend but she assured me that she was moving out on Sunday. Awesome. So wasn’t I surprised when I got home around 5pm on Sunday and her stuff had not been touched. I panicked slightly as my new roommate was scheduled to make her grand appearance (with a shit ton of stuff) on Monday morning.

Lisa comes moseying (‘mosey’ really is an accurate term in this case) in around 6pm. Upon entering her room her first exclamation is “I have so much stuff. I hate having all this stuff.”
Then she proceeds to start organizing and packing.

All of her crap…err…possessions are packed up and sitting in the living room ready to be transported, and her room is dusted, vacuumed, and spotless by 8:30.

We’ll forget the fact that she also managed to find some random dude with a truck to move her at 10pm on a Sunday night. Oh to be so carefree and trusting of strangers (I thought to myself as I locked my bedroom door and refused to leave as long as Mr. Craigslist Mover Man was there).

In some ways I admire her for her lack of materialism and her laid back “it will all work itself out” attitude. Even if I owned as little stuff as she did I don’t think I’ll ever be as nonchalant about the moving process. But cheers to her.
I probably could have learned a bit more from her.

Embracing Minimalism

Okay, “embracing” might be a bit of a strong word, because I’m just starting out, learning, eventually hoping to embrace some form of minimalism and a simpler lifestyle.  I don’t even remember where and when the lightbulb went off, but within the last few weeks I’ve started following several minimalist blogs, watched a few Tedx talks on the topic, and began thinking about how I can mold a new lifestyle for myself that involves less stuff, less spending, and ultimately less stress.

This plan to become a minimalist (there’s no one definition of minimalism…it’s okay to tailor the definition to fit your wants, needs, and priorities) coincides quite perfectly with other goals that I have to spend less, save more, quit stressing over the little stuff, and live a freer, more meaningful life.

To be perfectly honest, financial freedom is a strong motivating factor for starting this process.  I’m beginning to take a long, hard look at where my money goes (do I REALLY need that monthly wine club subscription…EVEN if it works out to under $10 per bottle??) and how it seems to go to so many places so fast.  I’m sick of putting money in my savings, only to have to transfer it back to my checking account five days later because a payment is about to bounce.  I do have a budgeting/spending diet plan in place, but that’s another post for another day.  Let’s stick with minimizing here…FOCUS.

So here are the first two steps I’m going to take in minimizing and simplifying my stuffs:

1. I signed up for a 10 Day Decluttering Challenge*.  I thought I purged a lot when I moved four months ago, but I still have so many material possessions that I never use or look at.  I hope to follow this plan as closely as possible and do some serious donating, and selling, hopefully mostly selling…because money.  I already got the email for Day 1….and it seems plenty easy enough so far.

2. I discovered this amazing clothing consignment site called thredUp.  Besides selling a huge variety of clothes (used or new) at steep discounts, you can order a bag from them to fill up with clothes and send back, shipping included!  Upon receiving your bag they will go through it and determine what they want to keep to resell.  You can choose cash upfront or on consignment.  This could be a potentially decent closet emptier and money maker.

So that’s what I’m up to for now.  Baby steps…baby steps.

I’m considering a few other “challenges” like Project 333, but I’m allowing myself to only focus on one or two project at a time.  My brain can’t handle much more at the moment.

Updates, good or bad, to follow.  Oh, and pictures…because people like pictures.  Reading is hard.

*For the 10 Day Decluttering Challenge, you actually have to sign up to receive the emails.  She’s being all secretive about that.  Whatever…it makes it feel exclusive.  Or it will just be another daily email subscription that will get ignored.

A List…of Lists

Listception??

First…a digression.  Analysis paralysis has struck again.  Why do I make writing words so hard?  I use words every day…we could argue that I’m using them now more than ever.

Okay, getting back on track.

I’m a list maker by nature.  I like making lists, looking at them, patting myself on the back for making them, feeling satisfied by accomplishing the making of the lists, then immediately ignoring them to binge watch OITNB (Disclaimer: I’ve actually been a horrible binge watcher of anything lately, but that’s another topic for another day).

Anyway, it’s been a roller coaster last few months.  Basically everything I alluded to, or outright said, in my last post has happened and I’m happily (YES! HAPPILY!) on the other side.  I am finally feeling centered and ready to focus on the future.  I’ve decided the best way to start is to make a list of lists….because what else would I do?  Hopefully these lists and the items contained within will help me find direction, purpose, satisfaction, serenity, and unicorns.

So here, friends,  I present you with my List of Lists (that I need to make…at some point):

1. Long term and short term goals – Presumably the long-term goals should be ironed out before the short-term goals are set, but sometimes I go against the grain with this kind of thing.  That actually might explain a lot…
2. Bucket List – I hate the term, feel free to suggest something pithier, but it’s what I’m going to call it for now.  This will most likely exist on Pinterest because Pinterest is my medium.
3. Health and fitness goals – This could fall under either of the two above lists, but I like to keep my running torture separate from my other goals, so I will keep my subsequent fitness goals separate as well.  Or maybe one day I’ll make all of my goal lists into a Venn Diagram.  Won’t that be exciting?
4. Things to purchase to make my life easier/more enjoyable – Otherwise known as my Amazon Wish List
5. DIY projects – I often get ideas when wandering around my apartment or while doing my daily glazed-eyed scroll of ApartmentTherapy.  But these ideas enter my head, sometimes never to be seen from again.
6. Networking goals – God am I horrible at networking, yet at the same time, not as horrible as I used to be.  Part of the reason I am involved with Tech Cocktail is to network, but I rarely make the most of it.  Oh, and this could also be filed under some of the above goal-related lists as well.  It may also make an appearance in the Venn Diagram.

We will leave it at these for now, so as to mitigate risk of overwhelming myself.  I’m sure I’ll think of more, but I think I have enough to work with for now.

So now onward and upward…or something.

 

Networking, Startup-ing, and Growing (aka I Have Career ADD)

Wednesday night I participated in an activity that used to drive me crazy with anxiety–networking. It’s still pretty far down on my list of favorite activities, and I’m admittedly not very good at it, but as I’ve evolved and grown as a person, my interests have evolved as well and I have learned the benefits of working at something that has always been a struggle for me.  I’ve learned to embrace it as a challenge.  Sure, we’ll call it that.

After my networking time….where I actually talked to TWO whole people who I had never met before(!!!)…it was time to listen to two very successful entrepreneurs talk about how they built their super successful businesses.  This was the part where I got to let my introvert self loose and sit back and listen.

It was actually the first Tech Cocktail event that I had ever attended solo.  It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but I thin k I held my own pretty well (the wine definitely helped with that part).  What I’m about to admit is totally lame, but the sense of independence and confidence that slowly crept out of me as the night wore on (now we’ll pretend it was all me and NOT the wine) was something I had not experienced in a long time.  This is not to say that I’m becoming an extrovert*, but I had this sense of self…who I am…that I’ve rarely been comfortable showing before.

Ok, I’m done with the “Dear Diary” segment…almost.  I have to admit–I’m feeling optimistic about my future and less scared about working towards a major career change.  I have new faith and confidence in my abilities, creativity, and ambition.  I think that as long as I keep working in the right direction and interacting with the right people I could one day get paid for a passion–a career that I create–and not for showing up at 9 and leaving at 5.

*Future research: Is it even possible for one to transform from being an introvert to an extrovert?

So that whole budgeting thing…

In one of my very first posts (shouldn’t be too hard to find, considering I only have 7 posts in total), I talked about how I was going to start budgeting.  So, that was back in March…I think.  Back when I was optimistic and looking forward to taking on this new challenge.  Unfortunately my motivation only lasted a couple weeks, and work got busy, and life happened, and really…how important is keeping a budget anyway??  Well, now that I am back from a week’s vacation and broke until my next paycheck, I’m realizing that I should really get back into the budgeting swing.

A couple things I learned from my first, albeit brief, time around:

1.  I really do become more aware of my spending when I’m entering it into a spreadsheet every day.

2. There will always be unexpected expenses that pop up and I can’t let myself get frustrated by them.

3. I could definitely put more into savings every month.

4. I spend way too much money eating out, drinking out, and socializing.

Now let’s focus on that last one.  I’ve noticed that aside from the occasional new piece of clothing or Kindle book, those social activities are where most of my monthly disposable income goes.  The downside to this is that I spend so much money on these activities and they provide a couple hours of entertainment but really nothing else to show for it.  I’ll admit, I love trying new foods and drinks, but do I really need to spend $30 on an average Friday night happy hour at the same places with the same people?

I think in this next phase of budgeting, I will need to incorporate some journaling of my spending habits.  The focus needs to be on how I feel after I spend and was it worth it.  I will think about how I could spend less money next time while still maintaining the same quality of life and social interactions that I love.  It really just boils down to me being smarter in these situations and thinking about the consequences and benefits.  Do I really need to spend $20 on three beers (ah…DC prices…), when I could just have one beer and pocket that other $13 for…umm…well something that’s not beer.

Things I Think About on Gorgeous Spring Days

One day last week I decided to take a walk during my lunch break.  It was about 70 degrees, partly cloudy–the perfect day in my mind.  I headed south on 18th Street with the destination of Constitution Gardens in mind.  Now, a normal person would be enjoying the weather, fresh air, people watching, etc.  I was in fact doing all of these things, until the people watching took a turn towards introspection.

Within blocks of my office are powerful and and influential institutions such as the World Bank and the Department of the Interior.  Ya know…places where people actually make a difference in the world (whether positive or negative…I won’t touch that).  Being as it was lunch time, there were lots of people milling about, coming in and out of the doors of these massive buildings.  Me, being the curious yet sometimes envious person that I am, had a series of thoughts cycling through my head as I was watching these folk:  How did these people get here?  How does someone get a job at the World Bank?  What path did they take in life to get to this point?

Naturally, these thoughts eventually turn inward.  Where did I go wrong?  Not that I could ever see myself working at the World Bank, but what choices could I have made differently that would have put me on a more successful path in my chosen field?  For one, I KNOW I could have worked harder in school.  I’m sure that if I thought really hard about it, I could come up with countless choices I could have made differently.  But, eh, hindsight and all that.

If money were no object, I would have absolutely gotten my PhD.  It’s really quite silly to quit at the Masters’ level in a social science field (aside from applied degrees for things like counseling and social work).  I didn’t know that at the time I started grad school and felt no way near ready to complete a PhD.  It’s also a shame that I don’t have a passion for chemistry or electrical engineering, for which I could likely get my PhD funded.    However, I can’t choose who I am, what I’m passionate about, or where my strengths lie intellectually.  I also can’t dwell on the past.  I consider myself a motivated person, but I know I could do SO.MUCH.MORE.  I’d like to think I’ve only scratched the surface of where I could end up with my life and career.

So yeah…now that I got all that out of the way, here are some pictures that I took on my walk.

Constitution Gardens Pond

Wash Mon

Totes adorbs life mates!!

Lifestyles of the Richer and Not So Famous

I spend a lot of my waking hours (probably more than I should) thinking about my finances.  I dwell on the financial mistakes of my past and obsess over ways to plan for a better financial future.  I hate that I think this way, but I do believe that more money would buy me happiness.  Or, maybe happiness is the wrong word, but it would buy me a sense of relief and hope.

Happiness is watching a pissed off bull buck his rider.

I also have this silly little assumption that I can’t relate to people who have more money than me.  Sometimes this assumption comes on pretty strong, and I consider it one of the reasons that I’m not as close with someone who was once my closest friend (Ok, I’m not that shallow, there’s more to it, but we’re all patched up now).  I think part of it stems from envy, which, frankly, is embarrassing.

This past weekend, Mark and I went to Dallas to visit my above-mentioned friend and his wife.  We ran around the DFW eating, drinking, eating, rodeo-ing, and…eating.  Me and the 7 extra pounds I brought home with me agree that it was a fantastic weekend.  It was the first time I had seen these friends in about a year and a half, and the last time was under less than ideal circumstances.

Their house is big and beautiful (a BBH?).  The kitchen is pretty much our dream kitchen and we spent a lot of time fawning over it and everything else.  Besides the house, they both have great jobs down in Texas with a lot of flexibility.  They have the ability to travel a few times a year and have made a couple friends down there.  While all this sounds great, the reality is they’re not very happy there.  They don’t like the location, and try as they might, Texas is simply not their style.  My friend doesn’t really like his job nor fit in with the culture where he works.

There was a lot of this…

I left Texas feeling refreshed and very happy (and full…very very full) that I got to see my friends.  However, I also was feeling a bit conemplative – as I often do.  See, I often feel sorry for myself for having so much debt and such little discretionary income.  However, I should know that these circumstances aren’t what define me.  While I do feel down from time to time, I’m overall a happy person, and I know that money has nothing to do with that.  I’m an appreciative person and consider myself very lucky in a lot of ways.  I hope my dear dear friends who have more in the material resources department, also realize how lucky they are, in just as many ways.

…and this

So, this past weekend I re-learned that money and “things” do not make people unrelatable, nor does it necessarily make them more satisfied in life (how many ways can I say the same thing without using the cliche “money buys happiness”).  I had a lot of fun last weekend and wish my friends all the happiness in the world.  I really hope we all find what we’re looking for soon.

Btw….I promise my posts won’t all be this reflective, because really, who wants to read that?

Giddy-up yo.